An amorous life

Sid left the bar and was on the way home, filthy and smelling like a pig.

He managed to board a bus and slumped next to a nun. Sid was quite a sight - his clothes were dirty and stained with lipstick marks, and every now and then, he took a swig of rum from a hip flask. He opened a magazine and began reading. Then he asked the nun, "Sister, what causes high blood pressure?"

The nun replied sarcastically, "It's the result of leading an amorous life, drinking too much rum, lack of discipline, and disregard for your fellow man."

"Oh my God!" muttered Sid, returning to his magazine.

The nun was felling a little guilty for her outburst and said, "Look, I am sorry, I didn't mean to be rude to you. How long have you been suffering from high blood pressure?"

"I don't, Father. But I was just reading here that the Dalai Lama does.

Funny reply

Tom is flirting with Gina. Tom says, "Guess what? They made changes in the alphabets? They put U and I together."

Gina says with a smirk, "Tell me Tom, how many times did you fail in Nursery class?"

Bubba's mistake

Bubba used to be a chemist.
He left for his heavenly abode last week.

How?
Well, he made a blunder. He thought that H2O was H2SO4.

Heart

My family doctor, Dr. Desai is an orthopedic surgeon by profession.
He calls the heart - a soft tissue organ for pumping cefuroxime around the body.

Bubba's password dilemma

Bubba calls up Tech support as he is facing problems with his computer.

Tech support: Are you sure your password is correct?
Bubba: Of course. I saw my boss do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me your password?
Bubba: Seven stars.

Funny jokes-Ear to the wall

John was a patient living in a mental hospital since many years. Lately, he had developed this habit of putting his ear to the wall and listening.

The hospital doctor would watch John do this day after day. One day, the doctor finally decided to see what John was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing.

So he turned to John and said, "I don't hear anything."

John said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for many months now!"

Hilarious jokes-The resume

Daisy, a resident nurse at the City hospital, was not satisfied with her job, so she resigned. She was confident that she would easily find another job due to the high demand for nurses in her locality.

She sent e-mails with cover letters to several potential employers and attached her resume to each one. A couple of weeks later, Daisy was disappointed as she had not received a single invitation for an interview.

Finally she received a mail from a prospective employer which explained the reason she hadn't heard from anyone else.

It read: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetarian burritos recipe."

Long and hard

Its long. Its hard. Its something a Bengali guy gives to his bride on their wedding night. WHAT is it?

A last name.

New secretary

Bob walked into his pal's office only to find Gareth looking depressed.

Bob asked, "Hey, what's with that long face?"

Gareth said, "You know my wife. She hired a new secretary for me."

Bob asked, "So what? Is she blonde or brunette?"

Gareth replied, "Neither. He's bald."