Animal jokes-Dog's favourite song

Q: What is a dog's loved song?

A: Ain't nuttin but a hound dog!!

(Pun for Elvis Presley's 1956 hit song)

Short funny jokes-Rough up

Bubba was arrested for killing a man with sandpaper.

In court, Bubba said in his defense : I never wanted to kill him, all I did was rough him up a bit.

Independence Day joke

Sunny : Do they have a 4th of July in England?

Tommy: Of course. How else do they get from the 3rd to the 5th?

Fourth of July joke

When Marco Polo first opened the trade routes to China, he was quite impressed with their rockets. Now, these weren't quite the fireworks we now know, but they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty patterns. Strangely, no matter where he went, there were people who made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to demonstrate them for him.

"Not here!" they said. A confused Marco Polo came upon an ancient military fortification at the community of Chu'Lai. Here, fireworks were launched every night, and Marco was very impressed!

But still he wondered, "Why here?" At the end of every week, people came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks to launch. So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone came here to launch their fireworks.

Marc's guide replied: "Why honored Sir, we always set off fireworks on the Forts of Chu'Lai"

Funny jokes-Weight issues

Serena was talking to her friend Dorothy about her weight issues.
"I make it a point to keep away from anything that makes me fat," she said "Weighing scales and mirrors, are some examples."

Really funny jokes-Decompose

If lawyers can be debarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, software engineers will be detested, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

Hilarious jokes-Funny conversation in court

Hilarious exchange in court

Lawyer: Tell us your brother-in-law's name?

Witness: Walker

Lawyer: What is his first name?

Witness: I am sorry I can't remember.

Lawyer: He's been your brother-in-law for so many years, how is it possible that you can't remember his first name?

Witness: It's just that I am very nervous. (Getting up from the witness chair and pointing to Walker) Toby, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name.

Aviation jokes-Three most dangerous things

Do you know what are the three most dangerous things in aviation (in that order):

1. A doctor in a Cessna.

2. Two captains in a 737 or DC-9.

3. On-board fire

Really funny jokes-Police Story

Bret, who committed a bank robber in Canberra, Australia, stuffed the loot down the front of his slacks and made a dash for the door. He got a nasty shock soon when a dye pack intended to mark stolen money exploded in his slacks.

A police spokesperson shared the following information:
"Witnesses saw him hopping, skipping and jumping around with a blast taking place inside his pants."

Bret was arrested soon after, and Police have kept his charred slacks securely in custody.