Showing posts with label One line jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label One line jokes. Show all posts

Friday, February 26, 2016

Physics jokes-Well defined

When eight-year-old Tom was asked to define Newton's first law, he blabbered, "Bodies that are moving, should remain moving, and bodies that are resting will remain so unless their moms force them outta bed!"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Zen question-Forest officers

Zen question
Where do forest officers go to "get away from it all"?

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Pun-Dead

Making fun of dead people is a grave mistake!

Sunday, December 29, 2013

One line jokes-Tennis player

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

One line jokes-When baking

Include your children when baking your cookies.

Friday, November 29, 2013

One line jokes-Contortionist

The show host declared to the packed audience that he would be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who said he could no longer make ends meet.

Monday, November 25, 2013

One line jokes-Intoxicated

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

One line jokes-Genetics

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

one liner jokes


Q. What's the difference between an Puerto Rican and a computer?
A. You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q. What do you call a field full of Puerto Rican?
A. A vacant lot.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Military wisdom

Military wisdom

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur

"You, you, and you.... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."

Friday, August 23, 2013

One line jokes-Engineer

You have the right to call yourself an engineer if you can use coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

One line jokes-Economist

An economist is a person who doesn't know what he's talking about - and make you feel guilty about it.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

One line jokes-Reached a point

Just when you thought your earnings have reached a point where ration prices don't matter, calories do.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

One line jokes-Lazy

My friend Jack is really lazy - he’s the only one I know who has installed a smoke alarm with a snooze function.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

One line jokes-Conduct

Lightning occasionally shocks people as it just does not understand how to conduct itself.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

One line jokes-So important

This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.
(Advertising/Marketing Manager, United Parcel Service)

Saturday, April 27, 2013

One line jokes-Front of car

Zen speak:

One who runs in front of car gets tired, one who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

One line jokes-Dumber

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Uncommon noun

The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

Monday, March 4, 2013

One line jokes-Supermarkets

A question I want to asked based on my observation at the supermarket - Why do they make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?